At book of Genesis 1:3 said that:
And God said,” Let there be light,"
And there was light.
How about God said," Let you be heal,"?
Yes, you are healed.
I still remember at the past few months
that I was panic and sad
I was asking God why.
Why He allowed this things happen
the incident is when I was around 16,17 years old
I was been cheated by my friend and her family as well.
How she and her families cheated me?
at that time I'm single and known that
usually girls around that age was wanted to get into a relationship with boy
and my friend use her hand phone to act like a boy and pursue me
at that time she say that she have a cousin and want to become my BF
and I say ok, because I trust her.
Then me and "her cousin" enter to a relationship around 6 months!!!
of course at the end the entire incident was broke
and she admit that she was cheated me
but she was blame this to others friend as well
she said all the plan is from other friend
she was innocent the only thing that she do is
she help another girl to cheated me
and this entire thing was known by her families long ago
The things that make me sad and heart broke is
she was my primary school friend
we know each other since we are 8 years old
and her father is my father's friend as well.
her father also known entire incident but her father
just keep quiet when his daughter cheating me
and when the entire incident was broke
he just say that
" tell you father all the things is from another girl, nothing to do with my daughter "
and the way my friend tell me is not sincerity as well
she tell me this "I'm just tell you the true,if you don't want to believe
and don't want to forgive me, up to you."
After that day she was totally change her phone number and I couldn't find her anymore.
How I know that she was cheated me and not sincerity to apologize?
I was known that from another friend who our childhood friend is as well.
She told me that my friend never have a cousin which is guy and around our age.
And I start to suspect and ask the "guy" out.
And guess what??
She just submits her self, but she keeps say that the "guy" is real.
But if the "guy“is real, how come I never saw him??
Because, I always ask him to out and he refuse and his voice like a girl.
I really hurt when I know the truth because I never know that
my childhood friend and my father's friend will cheated me!!
And I tried to forget this entire incident
guess what? I can do it, according to my strength.
BUT, few months ago God suddenly get me remember back
I was very sad and feel embarrassed
I don't want remember and I tell God that if one day
the secret was break I will kill my self.
But this is not biblical and not pleasing God.
God want to heal me! He want me to get heal and set free!!
So I was starting to search those Christianity books,
about spiritual, emotional healing and so on.
Beside that I also fast and pray for it!
Guess what God just heal me suddenly!!
(at that time I was already fast and pray more than 40 days)
I still remember around 2 weeks ago
when I was on the way to attempt a camp
suddenly a song come to my mind,
which is "This Is Our God"
at the first I though it was a song that God
just want to remind me that He die on the cross for me
until I'm attending service when the worship song sing
suddenly the lyrics say deep into my heart that
actually God want to tell me is this:
" Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free"
The things that God told me is by His Spirit I'm FREE!!
By the power of His Word I'm been set FREE!!
how amazing??
at that moment I'm know I'm been set free!!
And God lead me to this verses Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.
I'm still don't know why God let my friends to cheated me when I was young
but the things that I know is
God just want to set me FREE!!
Yes, at that moment was very pain and hurt,
but now I'm been set free!!
Happening
I still remember at November 2009, few days before I was having a final exam. Something terrible comes to me. One of my friend suddenly tell me something very terrible and without reason
I was very sad that time, because I didn't know entire situation and she didn't tell me before this then suddenly she just blame all things to me. This happen makes me really sad and down
Solution
Then one of my friend in church know she come to me and bring God's message to me as well. She tells me it was the test that God gives to me. After that I was feel calm but I still sad and no mood for study anymore
It was the 1st times, I sitting alone at school for revision but nothing I can remember. My mind was blank.
I was use at lease 5 days to study and NOTHING I can remember from my notes!!
HOW TERRIBLE IT IS!!
Come back to God
So one day before final, I was come to GOD and cry to GOD say that I can't do anything I just up hold my self and my final in to GOD's hand
Mirecle!!
It was a first time in my life that I go for final without prepare.
But surprisingly when I was getting the final paper, I was shock.
Why? Because I know the answer!! All the answer that my lecture already give us during class time and all this is not in MY NOTES!!
Well at that subject I gain a high mark on final
Mattew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
Incident
I still remember last year around March, April one night I was in restaurant having my dinner with my friend. (At that time, I still baby Christian I was receives Christ 1 month plus only.) While we are waiting for our food, I was playing with my hand phone and suddenly GOD ask me to show care to one of my friend. I was shock and I don’t how because I have already long time didn’t connect with this friend.
The reason is she hurt me a lot, I’m been hurt because of betray and I lose one of the important friend in my life because of her. At that moment I didn’t think a lot I just sent a caring message to her. And that’s all. I didn’t really care about next. As long as GOD ask me to do and I obey that’s all.
First time meet up
Around 2 weeks after GOD ask me to reach out to her, I honesty tell GOD I can’t. I haven forgive her yet at that time, and I’m really can’t. But I obey GOD, I meet up with her, and end up I been hurt again. I seen do not know what I can do, just feel bad. After few months, GOD asks me again to reach out to her. I really struggle with GOD.
The reason is at that time my spiritual was not stable, I was facing terrible problem in my new condominium and so on. However, the big problem is I really don’t know how to face her, while I look at her I will remember how she hurt me.
Second time meet up
But I choose to Obey GOD. Before I meet her, I pray to GOD and invite GOD come to guild me. Because the first time I didn’t know I need to invite GOD, this is one of the lessons GOD give me to depend on HIM. So I ask her come out again second time. (Around August, September) Thanks GOD, even we didn’t have a lot of conversation and so on, but at lease she didn’t hurt me. I start have confident to follow up her. However next few months she was and can’t meet up, well is good for me because I have more time to prepare my heart.
Lost and back in GOD
I still remember last year from July until November my spiritual actually quiet unstable and dry. The most reason is I didn’t believe GOD can lead me to better situation and I was depending in my strength. I always complain to GOD about my situation and so on. However, GOD didn’t give up me HE give me a big task in my life which I really can’t do anything the only thing that I can do is cry out to HIM, pray and depend on HIM.
Miracle happens, He lead me overcome the difficult path in my life in dramatic way. Start that day onwards my confident in HIM come back. And he tell me is the time to reach out my friend again.
Third Time meet up
I was use around one month/at lease 3 weeks time to prepare my heart to reach out to my friend. I was nerves so I ask my entire unit come to help me. Can imagine around 6 people excluding me to meet with my friend, the group was big. But she really enjoys the time that spend with us and we manage to share gospel with her. The place we meet up is Sunway Pyramid, the place that he share gospel nearby ice- staking. It was busy and noisy place. BUT it can’t stop God’s works and Holy Spirit touch!!!! When we are share Christ with her, I can’t feel that Holy Spirit was moving and feel Strong GOD was there to do HIS work. It was really amazing!!! My friend was been touch at that time she didn’t receive Christ immediately but we success plan seek in her heart. (It was happen last year December).
Recently Up date
Actually this year around March I will meet my friend because she was finish her studying and wait for training. But, suddenly she has something happen in her hometown then she need to go back. We didn’t meet up, however I continue follow up her through hand phone and face book. Last week 12 May 2010, I was in house and suddenly GOD ask me to call her. Then I call her and we spend a good time, I really surprising that GOD was open her eye and she suddenly grow mature a lot. Then next day I keep my promise call her again, and she tell me about the problem that she recently facing. I was told her about some of my testimony and challenging her that prays to Jesus. She was open and says that she will regularly pray to Jesus everyday. In addition, she mentions that I’m one of the impotent in her life that touch her a lot.
End
I really hope that my testimony can encourage everyone that continue trust in GOD and pray continuously. I pray for this girl 1 year plus, from March, April 2009 until now I still keep her in my prayer. Even will face a lot of problem but don’t give up, for our GOD is faithful GOD.
Actually I’m the one that receive as well when I obey to GOD, I was learning to forgive and love this friend. It makes me draw closes to GOD.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer
Incident
One normal Sunday night, I was in home and worship God. Suddenly, a though that come to me say that “you are an accident the person that call by God is your friend is not you (I was reach out because ‘Big Fat Life’ that time with my friend), Because of you all the thing mess up, you are not belong to God, you are not belong to them (church), and so on. I know that was not truth. But I can’t stop my mind, my mind was mess up. I can control my self, because of this I cry at lease 3 hours.
Due to me can’t control my mind, my mind start having those “weird” thinking come out. I start worried that God that can provide the better future for me or not, I start didn’t believe in God. I start complaining and blame God.
It was really scary!!
I continue pray and seek God, but I’m still sad and my mind was mess up.
Even though God give me some verses that I manage I catch
John 14:1
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.
1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.
2 Corinthians 4:8
So we fix our eye not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I feel better after receive words from God, but I still sad and all things mess up.
Encourage by God
Then next day I was attempt prayer meeting with my sadness
During the prayer meeting God tell me
Jeremiah 1:5a
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;
You are not an accident, I know you, and you are in my plan
Why you so rush? Why you can’t wait? Why you doesn’t believe in me?
I have perfect plan for you, what you can do is Just believe me, walk close with me, obey me, and you will receive.
The door I was open for you, Just wait! Wait for my timing and you will see it!
Conformation and encouraging
Then 1 week later which is Saturday, I tell my leader and my shepherd. That time my leader was encourage my by using God’s word and my shepherd didn’t say anything. However, coming Friday which is our shepherd time, my shepherd ask me and tell me some thing which is I still remember until now.
She asks” do you still remember that day that you are accepted Christ? Do you still remember that you been change sit?”
I say I still remember
That day is: I was late and I’m been sited in the left Conner, then suddenly she which is my shepherd sms me ask me to change sit to right conner. And I accepted Christ that day.
She tell me that before service she suddenly sense God that tell her I will receive Christ on that day. She doesn’t know what can do the only thing that she knows I was quiet close with a sister in our unit at that time, so she changes me to sit beside her.
End
Psalm 139:16
your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
